The root of toxic positivity is a tendency to focus exclusively on the positive aspects of an individual or situation while minimizing or ignoring the undesirable or difficult aspects of the same. This can create a false sense of security and create unrealistic expectations that lead to disappointment, frustration and even depression.
Toxic positivity can also put an unnecessary amount of pressure on an individual to always stay in a positive state, even if it’s uncharacteristic for them or not appropriate for the situation. It can have damaging effects on an individual’s mental health, as it can invalidate genuine emotions and thoughts that even positive people experience.
It often causes people to feel alienated and unheard when they are trying to express any sort of negative emotion. This can lead to people feeling inadequate and that they are not allowed to express their true feelings.
It also denies individuals the chance to problem solve and create solutions to the challenges they face. The underlying message behind toxic positivity, is more often than not, that if you ignore your difficulties, they will go away, this is far from the truth.
Is toxic positivity gaslighting?
No, toxic positivity is not the same as gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group consciously tries to make someone question their own reality, judgment, or perception, often through lies and clever words.
Gaslighting is a very intentional, malicious attack on someone’s sense of self, implying that their opinions or feelings are wrong or unworthy of being respected.
Toxic positivity, on the other hand, is the practice of making a person feel like they must remain positive at all times and should never acknowledge negative emotions or experiences. It’s an extreme form of optimism that discounts or even ignores the reality of a situation and instead emphasizes only the positive.
Example phrases of toxic positivity include “Just focus on the bright side”, “Look on the bright side”, “Cheer up”, and “Things will get better. ”.
Toxic positivity is not the same as gaslighting, as it does not attempt to manipulate or distort a person’s reality. Instead, it attempts to force a person to ignore and invalidate their own feelings and experiences.
Toxic positivity does not aim to harm; it is often seen as the socially acceptable way of responding to pain and hardship.
Is toxic positivity a trauma response?
No, toxic positivity is not a trauma response. Toxic positivity is an unhealthy way of avoiding, denying, or repressing painful and difficult emotions. It is a coping mechanism which involves the excessive, superficial, and often insincere use of positive attitude, thoughts, and words in order to avoid dealing with negative feelings and uncomfortable situations.
Trauma on the other hand is a reaction to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that has lasting, negative effects on the individual’s emotional and physical wellbeing. Trauma responses are usually characterized by feelings of fear and overwhelm, while toxic positivity is typically characterized by feelings of denial and avoidance.
Although toxic positivity may seem to offer a quick solution to difficult emotions and situations in the short-term, it is likely to lead to more issues in the long run.
What is emotional contagion theory?
Emotional contagion theory is a concept in psychology that describes the ability of an individual to empathize with, and feel the emotions of, those around them. This is a form of “emotional mirroring” where an individual mirrors the emotions of another, either consciously or subconsciously, and it can result in an individual feeling the same feelings or emotions as their partner or those close to them.
The theory suggests that emotions can be “caught” with ease in several ways, such as verbal and non-verbal communication. It also states that attitudes and moods can be transferred through visual and vocal cues, such as facial expressions, intonation and body language.
Emotional contagion has been shown to be a strong influence in social relationships, whereby people with similar dispositions and emotional states experience increased support and understanding from one another.
It can facilitate both altruism and love, as well as negative emotions and relationships. In terms of communication, it can aid in deeper connection and understanding, whilst promoting a sense of community when people are able to share emotions naturally.
What is empathic distress?
Empathic distress is an emotional reaction that occurs when someone is exposed to another person’s emotional pain or suffering. Typically, it involves both emotional and physical responses. Empathic distress can be a strong reaction to the distress of another person, or it can be milder and less physically noticeable.
People who experience empathic distress may become overwhelmed by the feelings of the other person and may find themselves struggling to care for themselves. They may feel overwhelmed, confused, or helpless.
One type of empathic distress is known as empathic imbalance, which occurs when someone cannot regulate their reactions and emotions to the suffering of another person. This often results in over-identification with the other person’s pain, resulting in anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms such as headaches and chest pain.
Empathic imbalance can also lead to avoidance, which can take the form of avoiding people or circumstances that might induce strong responses.
Empathic distress is a normal emotion and can be seen as an act of compassion for another. This type of emotion may also be experienced by healthcare providers, educators, and counselors, who often come in contact with people who are suffering and can experience empathic distress in reaction to their patient’s or student’s emotions.
While it’s natural to experience empathic distress, it’s important to be aware of its effects and take steps to take care of yourself and set healthy boundary limits – especially in professions where it’s expected to have strong empathy for clients.
The best way to deal with empathic distress is to recognize it for what it is and work towards managing it. This may involve recognizing triggers and allowing yourself time to process negative emotions, as well as learning coping strategies for making sure you are able to care for yourself.
How do you unlearn toxic positivity?
Unlearning toxic positivity involves becoming mindful of how you think and speak about yourself and others. Start by recognizing that it is not necessary to put on a brave face in every situation, or expect perfection.
Allow yourself to openly acknowledge your own struggles, successes, and feelings. Analyze yourself and your language; pause before speaking to make sure your words are productive and helpful instead of counter-productive and harmful to yourself and others.
Prioritize self-care and keep healthy boundaries. Give yourself permission to disengage from moments when you feel overwhelmed and give yourself the time, energy, and attention you need to process your feelings.
Connect with a supportive group of nonjudgmental people and address those beliefs and patterns of thought that contribute to toxic positivity in yourself. Open up to support and guidance from people you trust and respect.
Find value in understanding that it is okay to not feel okay sometimes.
Avoid comparing yourself with others and be compassionate with yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel down, anxious, or frustrated sometimes. Acknowledge these feelings and learn healthy coping mechanisms to deal with them.
Step away from those who try to invalidate your feelings and practice positive self-talk instead of dwelling in your negative thoughts. Let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can do.
How do you break a toxic mindset?
Breaking a toxic mindset begins with mindfulness. Start by developing self-awareness and recognizing when you engage in negative behavior. Pay attention to the words you use, the way you think, and the patterns of behavior you see in yourself.
Acknowledge the negative beliefs that might be at the root of your mindset, such as thinking you are not worthy or intelligent enough. Once you have identified these beliefs, reflect on why they may be present and work to challenge them.
Start challenging your inner critic by shifting your thoughts in a positive direction. Begin to recognize positive accomplishments, take note of strengths, and create a goals-driven plan to help accomplish something.
These daily doses of self-affirmation can help to change the way you think about yourself.
Build a support network of family, friends, and professionals who can help you stay accountable to challenge your negative thought processes. It’s also important to step away from technology and find healthy ways to express yourself and your emotions.
Whether it’s taking a yoga class or writing in a journal, finding outlets for expression can help reduce stress and shift your mindset to a healthier place.
With consistent effort, you can create a more positive mindset that is focused on self-growth and success. In this way, you can break the cycle of toxicity and start working towards becoming a better version of yourself.
Can you unlearn toxic behavior?
Yes, it is possible to unlearn toxic behaviors. All of our behaviors are learned over time, so they can also be unlearned and replaced with healthier habits. The key is to focus on identifying and understanding the behaviors that are causing harm and engaging in self-reflection to gain an understanding of the motives and feelings behind them.
This can be done through exercises such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, where a person can learn to identify potential triggers for unhealthy behavior and break those connections to create healthier actions and solutions.
Additionally, mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation and journaling can be helpful in understanding a person’s thoughts and feelings, which can lead to greater self-awareness and respect.
Finally, it can be incredibly helpful to build a support system of healthy relationships with friends and family members who can provide emotional support, guidance and understanding when working to unlearn toxic behaviors.
Ultimately, with practice and self-compassion, it is possible to unlearn toxic behavior and develop healthier, more positive habits that will benefit oneself and others.
How do you emotionally detach from a toxic person?
Emotionally detaching from a toxic person can be a difficult and painful process. The first step is to recognize that the relationship is unhealthy and understand that it needs to come to an end. This can be a hard realization, especially if the person is a family member or someone you once considered to be a close friend.
Once you recognize the toxicity, it is important to begin establishing boundaries and distancing yourself from the person as much as possible. This means limiting contact, whether it be physical or virtual, and making sure that all conversations are brief and don’t go too deep.
It may also be a good idea to avoid places or events that the person frequents.
When it is not possible to completely avoid contact, it may be helpful to practice assertiveness. This could involve setting boundaries, speaking up when the person behaves in a way that is uncomfortable or abusive, and communicating clearly about your own needs and expectations.
Furthermore, it is important to take action to care for yourself and practice self-love during this difficult process. This could involve spending time with supportive friends, seeking outside help through therapy or counseling, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
The process of emotionally detaching from a toxic person can be hard and emotionally draining, but it will provide more space in your life for healthier relationships and bring you closer to a life of wellbeing.
What does toxic positivity feel like?
Toxic positivity can feel like an overwhelming pressure to constantly be upbeat and optimistic, despite the struggles and hardships that we all experience from time to time. It can leave you feeling like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not in order to conform to society’s expectations and achieve social acceptance.
It can leave you feeling bad about yourself for having normal, natural emotions and for struggling with the ups and downs of life. It can sometimes lead to feelings of inner conflict, guilt, and shame for not being able to embody or ‘fake’ this unrealistic level of positive thinking and enthusiasm.
It can be especially damaging when you’re already dealing with significant trauma and sadness, as toxic positivity can make you feel like you’re not allowed to be genuine with your feelings and celebrate life’s less enjoyable moments.
Ultimately, toxic positivity can be damaging to our mental and emotional wellbeing, as it can cause us to repress our true feelings and prevent us from seeking help or taking care of ourselves in a way that truly honors our needs.
Is toxic positivity a defense mechanism?
Yes, toxic positivity could definitely be seen as a defense mechanism. Toxic positivity can be defined as when someone responds positively to any situation, no matter how difficult or negative it may be, in order to avoid dealing with it or acknowledging the difficult emotions that come with it.
This often takes the form of someone denying their own or another’s experiences, and encouraging them to think only positively about the situation or ignore it completely.
Toxic positivity may be a form of defense mechanism as it provides a form of psychological protection from difficult or uncomfortable emotions. This can be because someone may not have the necessary coping skills or emotional support needed to process them, or it may simply be easier to ignore or deny any negative emotions and instead focus on having an optimistic point of view.
Overall, toxic positivity can definitely be seen as a defense mechanism, as it serves as a way to avoid dealing with negative emotions or situations and instead focus on the positive aspects. It is important to remember though, that having a positive attitude is important for mental health, but only when done in a healthy way- without repressing or avoiding any difficult or uncomfortable emotions.